I Don’t Think Being Honest All the Time Is a Good Idea

I used to believe that being honest all the time in real life was a good idea. I was like that. I was wrong.

My mom taught me when I was a kid: always tell the truth, always be honest, and when someone gives you something for free, say: “Thank you, no.”

Today I see this has some flaws.

When I want to hear the truth, I should also always tell the truth. I assume that is fair. But as a not very successful guy who frequently feels like a loser, I don’t actually want to hear the truth all the time.

The fact is, sometimes it is better not to know some things. For peace of mind.

Silence Is Better Than a Lie

Do I tell the truth all the time? Sadly, yes.

But if I don’t want to lie, I usually prefer to stay silent.

And when someone gives me something for free, I no longer say:

“Thank you, no.”

I switched to: “Thank youuu! That’s very kind of youuu!” Yep. I got a bit real.

When Someone Asks for the Truth

Sometimes when I am asked for the truth or for my opinion, that is the moment when I get a bit nervous. Usually, it has consequences.

Once, a client asked me for my opinion. She had made a PowerPoint presentation and asked me what I thought about it. Because I liked her, logically, I was honest. I replied with something like this:

“I will be honest, and I apologize for it. The PowerPoint presentation is really bad for these reasons: there is a visual mismatch across all slides. Different colors are okay, but different font types and sizes are not. Text and logos are not properly aligned. Images are low resolution, blurred, and have different aspect ratios. I definitely don’t recommend publishing the included video because of sound echo, a ringing phone, and later a dialogue in the background. Basically, it is just a few static slides with speech. I know you spent a lot of time on it and added your passion, but the result is not professional. I am really sorry.”

After that, I lost the client.

Her manager told me she was crying. What the hell was I supposed to say? A lie? If I had been even more honest and clearer, I would have said: “It’s shit.” Then she would have killed herself. So, technically, I saved her life by being diplomatic.

Eyelashes, Eyebrows, and Social Danger

Not long ago, my neighbor asked me: “Do you like my new eyelashes and eyebrows?”

Now that was dangerous territory. I lied. Partially. I said: “They suit you. I just prefer real and natural body parts.”

What a relief she didn’t ask me about her nose after plastic surgery. Nope, I didn’t make this up. She is really into “improvements.” We no longer see each other.

Honesty Makes You the Problem

Sometimes I feel like an outcast of society when my honesty goes wrong.

People say they want the truth, but very often they want a beautiful, soft, emotionally safe version of the truth. Something wrapped in a blanket, sprayed with perfume, and gently delivered with a fake smile. They don’t want the raw truth.

They want the truth after marketing approval.

So yes, being honest all the time in real life is not a good idea. Actually, it is often a terrible idea. It is simply better to stay silent, say “I don’t know,” and add a gentle smile, so I look less stupid. But it sucks.